This is awful. Terrible. Worst thing I’ve ever done. Even worse than the first chapter of My Name is Agnes. I must explain:
Ken has had a stroke (this wasn’t my fault – settle down people!) but he’s pretty old. I’ve had a relationship with Ken for about 16 years now so I was pretty upset when I found this out. But I have no idea what caused the stroke so now I’m devastated!
Tracy slept with Luke! Ok, Tracy sleeps with everyone so that’s no big deal but Luke is such a good guy. Tracy is a total nightmare so I don’t know how she keeps getting these really great guys! Plus Luke has got to be about 10 years younger than her! What the smell?
There was some car accident that David caused and now Anna has broken both of her legs but nobody but the Platt family (big surprise there – they are always keeping secrets) knows that David was behind it, but he was originally gunning for this Clayton guy who killed Kylie and now Clayton has gotten 15-life for killing Kylie but I didn’t see this epic car crash! Sarah Platt and Gary Windass are in love but Gale hates the Windass family. Anna & Michael have figured Phelan out, Kaz is missing and everyone thinks Maria killed her and Brian is back but not with Julie! Phew!
Ok, you might have figured out this is a soap opera. This is Coronation Street – my favoratistest show in the world. British soaps are much different than those in the States. American soap operas can have one day on the show go on for a week in real time. If you don’t watch it for a year, don’t worry…watch it once and you will be caught up. With British soaps, if you miss one episode you’re fucked!
Now this is where I fucked myself, but not literally. I decided that I would start recording my favourite show in the garage so I would get myself back running on the treadmill. I thought that my love for Coronation Street would win over my laziness. I thought wrong. So I finally get my fat ass out there and I have 72 episodes to watch. Yup, sounds about right. I start watching and Son of a Stroke Victim! Ken is in the hospital! Apparently my PVR has maxed out my show and I have missed some crucial episodes!!
Did I learn my lesson? Hell to the- ‘what do you think’? 4 days go past and I have missed another crucial episode! Fucking Anna and
Michael get evidence on Phelan somehow and Michael goes and confronts Phelan but I don’t know how they got the evidence! Something happened with Gemma but I don’t really care about that shit.
One good thing about it is all these strange characters keep showing up so I have to keep running to find out who they are. It’s nice to now that I can still get on the treadmill and run for 6 kms. I’m not sure why I call it run because I’m pretty sure I could walk briskly at the same pace but I don’t give a shit – I feel like I’m running. Well, I must go I have a tonne of shit to do. All the PR’ing for my book is really time consuming, that is why I haven’t been blogging for a while. Sors. No excuse – I know. But first I must get on the treadmill …..