Can you imagine?

What celebrity do you think you would get along really well with?  I think Tina Fey and I would be bezzy mates.  Our sense of humour is very similar and we have kids around
the same age-ish.  I think Amy Poehler and I would get along smashingly too but her kids are a lot younger than mine and she’s divorced now, not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Plus that would make us a party of 3 and that just makes it awkward…I also wouldn’t want them fighting over me.   Can you imagine being the cause of breaking up Tina
Fey and Amy Poehler?  The whole world would hate me!

I think Phoebe Buffay (from Friends) and Marilyn Monroe would have made good friends.  If not friends, they would have had some interesting conversations.  Probably not really intelligent conversations but interesting ones.  Did you know that Lisa Kudrow is super D duper smart? She was going to be a neurologist before switching careers.  Did you know that really smart people probably don’t say “super D duper”?

I would love to listen in on the conversation between Homer Simpson and Einstein….well, pretty much on any subject, but especially having Homer explain the internet to Einstein.  I think Homer would say “thingy” a lot and I believe Einstein would say, “You must repeat zat again” or “zis iz just not posseeble!” ….and maybe a few “huh?”s.

Ok, here’s one for you.  I would love, love, love to see Barbara Streisand, Steven Tyler (from Aerosmith), Amy Schumer and
Sheldon Cooper (from Big Bang Theory) go bowling.  Babs would be all, “This game is bullshit – I threw the fucking ball down the middle and it still went in the gutter!”  Sheldon would say, “Well Ms. Streisand, if you calculated the trajectory of the ball with the conduction of speed…plus it would help if you weren’t wearing that ballgown.”  Then you’d hear a “Fuck, I broke a nail” from Steven Tyler.  Amy Schumer would say, “Ummm, Steven….can I call you Steven?  Steven, maybe you should bend over and throw the ball between your legs.  Hmmm?”  as she drools all over the place.  Then Steven Tyler would shout out, “Hey! Can we get some shooters over here?”  Then Babs would whisper to Sheldon, “It’s about time someone brought out the booze!”  Sheldon would be disgusted, of course.  Or it would go something like that….

I think Brad Pitt needs to have a talking to from Edward Cullen from the Twilight series.  I’m still pissed off at him for cheating on Jennifer Anniston with crazy-ass Jolie.  I don’t care if she’s all dopt-the-world, she still wore a vile of blood around her neck when she was with Billy Bob Thorton. That’s bat-shit crazy people!  So Brad is a total dipshit for cheating on sweetheart Jennifer Anniston.  I mean, come on!  She basically gave him his big break by getting him a guest appearance on Friends!  OK, maybe not but that was a really funny episode.  I’ve referenced Friends twice now – I must harbour some
real resentment that they cancelled that show!  I actually had a shirt that said “I MISS MY F-R-I-E-N-D-S” (you know, they’re insignia?)  It was really cute.  Anyway, now he’s all alone and shit – serves you right!!  Although he’s Brad Pitt…I’m sure he’ll find someone.  So maybe Edward can tell him how to really appreciate a woman…and hold on to her!

Of course there are a tonne of people that I would love to talk to.  Who wouldn’t want to take Lucy from I Love Lucy to the bar to play pool or to make your own pottery?  She would be a fucking blast!  Or taking Stewie Griffin (the little loud mouth kid from Family Guy. Can everybody hear him?  That confuses me.) to a hockey game.  I would love to hear his comments.  “What?  That is roughing!”  Then he would start punching people.  With a maniacal laugh, “This is roughing!”

BUT, if there was anyone I could really talk to, without any bullshit political bullshit or interruptions, just honest questions, it would be Rachel Notley or Justin Trudeau…for obvious reasons.  And I would love to meet Ellen Degeneres.  I sent her my book last week so I hope that one comes true…fingers crossed!!