I am the female counterpart of Even Steven – Even Stephanie

Have you ever heard of Even Steven?  I am Even Stephanie.  Everything bad that happens, there is an equally good thing that happens…or at least that’s my outlook on things.  I suppose another person could just look at the shitty parts and just say, “Wow – you have incredibly shitty luck!” or “Maybe you should just stay indoors…” but I choose to look at the good things too.  Let’s look at my day yesterday for example:

I had to go to the city yesterday.  I’m not a good driver.  I mean I drive well, I just happen to get really, really, really tired when I drive.  Like 15 minutes into the drive I can fall asleep and I have to fight to keep my eyes open the entire time…it’s really painful.  So I have to do something to stay awake.  Bad:  I fall asleep driving.  Good:  I get to eat timbits and the whole way to the city.

I get terrible migraines.  I take 14 anti-migraine pills a day.  As soon as I get into the truck to drive to the city I get a headache.  Bad:  I get a headache…..again.  Good:  I have percosets.  This isn’t my first affair with percosets.  About 8 years ago I was on percosets for 2 years, when they stopped working I stopped taking them.  Then about 5 years ago I was on them for another couple of years – they stopped working and I stopped taking them.  Bad:  I have shit going on that’s bad enough that I have to take percosets.  Good:  I can just stop taking them and I don’t get addicted.

I was going to the city to get some jerseys fixed, that was the purpose of going to the city.  I dropped them off at United Cycle and while I was there I found some shorts for my son and a shirt that was on sale too – bonus!  I had to stick around the city and wait for them to call me to find out if they could get them done by Wednesday because we are leaving for Kelowna on Thursday.

This year I have decided I am going to pot plants instead of planting them in the ground….well most of them anyway….a few of them I am going to plant, like a pink and white bleeding heart bush – I love those bushes, which is really too bad because we are planning to move into town but, whatever!  I’ve never seen a white bleeding heart bush before, I hope whoever buys our place will enjoy them!  But I am going to make pots and then bring them in and hopefully they will survive for a long time.  Plus my dog will probably destroy anything that I plant….he’s probably going to destroy all the pots too but at least I can put them up out of his reach!

So I have a magazine and a book that I have picked out plans for pots and made a list of all the bulbs and seeds that I need.  I already went to the local stores to look and couldn’t find 97% of them.  I’m not sure, but I think I already missed out on the seed season?  What the fuck – seriously?  Or is it that I am looking for irregular seeds?  Uhhhh, well it could be that it’s because it’s Even Stephanie looking for them.

I take my list to Home Depot first.  (***This is where my post cut off yesterday for some reason – I had the whole post done but it didn’t save!  Bad: Fucking irritating!  Good:  I took a nap.***) Bad:  All the bulbs and seeds are the same as all the other big box stores.  Good:  I had a gift card so I could replace all the bulbs that my idiot dog took out of my greenhouse and ate.  Yup, that’s right – he ate flower bulbs…he actually tore the bag apart and ate the flower bulbs.  I wonder if there’s going to be little flowers in his shit?

I went to Costco to see if any of their bulbs were ones that I needed because they would be cheaper there.  Nope, none of them I needed. – obviously that’s the bad part, but it’s Costco so the good part is that I get to shop!  I look at the books.  Bad:  I get sad that my book isn’t there.  I’ve actually reached out to see if I can get the number of the book buyer but I haven’t heard from them yet.  Good:  My favourite Author, Tami Hoag’s new book, The Bitter Season is there! Yay!  And they also have some shorts for my son and, son of a water-skier – he actually liked them!!

United Cycle calls, the jerseys are done!  Bad:  I don’t get to come into the city to shop again. Good:  I don’t have to come into the city again.  I forgot that I need baileys so I decide to go to the other Costco because there’s a greenhouse right by it.  I only meant to get a case of baileys but I accidentally got some of that beer
iced-tea, then my husband likes coors original and, of course, some Corona.  Bad:  Got way more booze than intended.  Good:  Ready for camping season.

While I’m at Costco that has fuel stations I always fill up because it’s always at least 10 cents cheaper than the town that I live in.  Bad: I cut my finger getting the fuel cap off.  Who does that happen to?  Oh right, me.  And that’s not the first time that’s happened either!  Good:  It’s cheap gas so I guess it’s worth it..

I get to the greenhouse and there’s still the same bulbs that are everywhere else.  I guess I’m too late in the season to be buying shit to grow, it have to buy the plants.  Ok, whatever.  I go through all the plants and buy what’s on my list. Son of a bingo player, I still have 22 plants on my list that I can’t find!  Bad:  I have to figure out what plants will replace the ones that I couldn’t find.  Good:  I found Venus Flytrap Plants!  So cool!!!

So now I have taken over my house and garage with plants and planting stuff because we are going away for the weekend and I don’t want all my plants to die in my greenhouses.  Plus, I get a lot of work done at night watching the hockey games and I’m not going to miss them so I
might as well be doing something while I’m watching them!!  Go Oilers!!


Well, I must get back to my planting.  Bad:  I tend to kill my plants.  Good: